>I heard these today and thought they were hilarious:

How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If God wants the bulb to be changed, He’ll change it!

How many Pentecostals does it take to change a light bulb?
One, because his hands are already in the air!

How many Carnal Christians does it take to change a light bulb?
HEY, just because the bulb doesn’t give off any light, doesn’t mean it’s broken!

How many Post-Modernists does it take to change a light bulb?
HEY, that’s a little arrogant to ask a question like that! How can anybody even know it’s a light bulb, let alone determine that it needs to be changed? HUH??!! HUH??!!!

How many Emergents does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t matter if the light bulb doesn’t work. We prefer candles anyway!

How many Atheists does it take to change a light bulb?
Five. One to write a book about all of the harmful things light bulbs have done over the centuries,
One to get a grant to fund research which will estimate how many millions of years it will take for the light bulb to change itself,
And three to sit in the dark and discuss how electricity doesn’t even exist!

Thanks to Todd Friel of Wretched Radio for these!